Thursday, January 17, 2013

RomCom Blues

I've said this before and I'll say it again. If my life were a romantic comedy, I'd have a supporting role at best. Or maybe a lengthy cameo appearance. But alas, nothing more.

Generally, I find it oh so trivial to complain about my encounters with love (or lack thereof). I know I am young and I know I have an entire life ahead of me. I know that high school is not an indication of my future. I know that my selection of boys is limited not only by personal preference but also by geography/exposure. And even though I "know" all of this, I cannot whole-heartedly accept it. I guess you could say I've longed for that quintessential high school relationship. Or even something simpler... a "thing" for lack of a better word. The entire concept of mutual attraction is something so foreign to me, so out of this galaxy. You can call me overly dramatic, but I refuse to be labeled as a "forever alone" teenage blogger. That is not the intention of this post.

Simply put, I am writing out of frustration. The feelings I harbor toy with my thoughts and play with my emotions. How can so much heartache spur from nothing?

The Fault of The Feeling

Every English essay this year has called upon the philosopher living within the walls of my cranium. It's definitely strays from the conventional curriculum. Unlike previous years, I've been forced to contemplate topics such as truth, perception, reality, and illusion in the context of my reading. While last night's essay was a struggle to push through, I turned out some pretty deep shit (for lack of a better phrase). Here are a few snippets:
  • As human beings, we are slaves to our mental states and the subsequent biological reactions. Our emotions not only dictate how we act but also how we perceive. The greatest fallacy in our condition rests in the tendency to substitute our feelings for reason and logic. And too often, we allow ourselves to be consumed by this substitution.
  • ...
    sacrifices truth and reason for the essence of intimacy and passion.  
  • Blanche is confined by her circumstances only because she feels confined by her circumstances. Instead of actively seeking socioeconomic successes, she puts on a show for herself and for her peers. Blanche’s inability to overcome her trauma and heartache highlights the fatal flaw of emotion—when we cannot cope, we cannot live.

I really wish I wrote more this year. Maybe I'll add that to my growing list of New Years Resolutions.